Search this site
Hilton's Blog‎ > ‎

Obscene videos

posted Jun 21, 2009, 11:12 PM by Hilton Lange   [ updated Jun 22, 2009, 8:54 AM ]

After Matthew has finished his bath, he gets dried on our bed.  For some reason, this has turned into his favourite playtime - probably because our bed is nice and soft and springy, and he dashes between us playing peek-a-boo with his towel.  A few nights ago, he got it into his head to try and put into action a move that he and Mom usually do at gym together.  He had quite some success!  Attempt #1 was a failure, attempts #2 and #3 were resounding successes, and then instead of making a 4th attempt, he just decided to try and fool the spectators by leading the applause himself!  It is rated 18 for Nudity and Violence, you have been warned.

Video 2: Hilton's gymnastics in the garden

I objected most strongly to the publication of the 2nd video, but Caryn pleaded and begged and twisted my arm, and I gave in.  She insisted that everyone should be able to have the same amount of fun at my expense as she had a few weeks ago.  I'll provide a timeline description.

00 sec: After a few minutes of fruitlessly trying to start the mower, I give a demonstration to my loving wife, who is sitting inside watching TV, sipping a cool glass of iced lemonade and videotaping my efforts.  The Basset Hound is more empathetic to my plight than my wife is, showing solidarity by being on hand to offer assistance if needed.
06 sec: I realize I am being videotaped and make a polite request for no media to be present.
07 sec: My request is ignored.  In addition, my wife insists (laughing) that I try it again.  Not because she wishes me success, but because she wishes to capture every detail of my failure on film.
09 sec: I show foresight and move a dog's toy out of the path of where I'll be mowing, anticipating and planning for my success in getting the mower started.
11 sec: I spot something left on my hand from handling the dog's toy.  I suspect that it could either be soil or dog crap.
12 sec: In a moment of stupidity, I sniff my hand to determine what it is.
13 sec: It's dog crap.  Crap.
14 sec: I sniff it again!  What am I thinking??
15 sec: Even the Basset Hound abandons me to this madness.
17 sec: Aware than the paparazzi are filming me, I put on a big manly show and act macho while attempting an exaggerated pull of the cord.
21 sec: It fails miserably, I don't even mange to pull the cord all the way out in slow motion.
23 sec: The real attempts begin in earnest.
26 sec: By the 3rd tug I forget about the hidden camera and am filled with complete confidence that "this is it".
29 sec: "This" was not "it".
31 sec: I walk away, hot and tired, in genuine disgust at my inability to start the lawnmower.
32 sec: My supportive and loving wife starts laughing out loud at me.
36 sec: She's still laughing at me when she stops filming.
Comments